我曾以为，友情和爱情是永远分开的界限。八年来，我从未犹豫过这一点。但在2016年的9月20日晚，那一切都变得混乱和恐惧。我不知道是否是临近国庆时的三亚之旅让我们冷静了下来，还是回忆、梦境和现实之间的纠缠让我开始小心翼翼地与你交流，电话变得稀少。

每天你的关心让我退缩，但我也知道，这份关心可能是我最大的安慰。你问我愿意相信你，你不会离开，而是会等待我，一辈子。其实，我心里充满了罪恶感，这种感觉已经深入骨髓。

我不喜欢暧昧，更不喜欢你从朋友变成恋人。我不再愿意对你敞开心扉，因为怕你的热切目光会被我的冰凉所吞没。然而，你说要带我去那些没有尘世污染的地方，让我们做自己的诗，写自己的人生。你懂我的，就像八年前一样懂得给我恬静和平淡生活的渴望。

但当你送给我玫瑰，我却不知如何接受。那飞机上空云朵却让我更加动容。你用心对待我，我一直都明白，可我的用心呢？你知道吗？如果我的懦弱 hadn't stopped me from just staying as friends, perhaps we would have been together five years earlier and wouldn't have experienced these past few years of heartache.

You also wouldn't have spent countless nights worrying about my disappearance, and I wouldn't have lost sleep over your vanishing acts. Our relationship was always a mystery to others, but it's perfect that way – friends forever.

Eight years, nearly 3,000 days. I've never regretted meeting you or falling in love with you. I remember when you said that if one day I'm still single by the time we're old enough to get married, you'll wait for me and marry me. Your promise is too heavy for me to bear; instead of trusting you back then, now eight years later it's your unwavering loyalty that fills me with guilt.

Perhaps our connection ends here at its peak distance – perfect as it is. If someday my departure takes us far apart across seas and lands, no matter where life takes us after parting ways from this moment on...I will always remember your cooking skills, your face so familiar yet unknown again in the future...

This will be enough for me. So let this buried emotion drift away like leaves on wind currents; such memories are what make friendship so precious between us.

Wish upon a star for your happiness without my presence in it; may our new lives not hold any lingering feelings left behind from our shared past moments...for fear of being too attached makes one weak indeed...

Wish you well,

My friend,

Jianming